contrary to popular belief, sheep are actually hatched from eggs
nah, i'm just kidding.
about me.
Child of God.
J`
040489
huang_yh@hotmail.com
5:17 pm
Sunday, May 31, 2009
just for you.
smile dear, let the pictures cheer u up! :D
2:08 am
it hurts; a stab in my heart
alrights, shall blog before heading to bed. guess i have been a guai kia these days, i reckon. since i have been trying to do what was ask to do every day.
well, i think im believing more and more into the phrase of a picture speaking a 1000 words. so, this is my feeling right now:
it really hurt me so much.
well today had youthphoria. joel, elizabeth and cassandra came to share their personal testimony or what you call that. after hearing cass, i guess i can totally relate to it man. mayb God is trying to speak to me during this really uncertain season of my life. its really comforting to know that i wasnt alone in this kind of situation, WAITING upon the Lord. guess i had nver been faithfully waiting from the start, thats why there is today. sigh, lets hope i will wake up real soon and get into reality and start doing smth abt it. please help me daddy to feel your presence especially learning how to listen to you, waiting upon you and hearing nothing.
okay, lets get myself to think positively, i have to do this. cuz it is seriously horrible to be feeling what im feeling now. stop thinking of negative things, you!!!!! comeon, start thinking of the goodness and blessings given to me!
thanks for not giving up on me, for the quality effort and time spent on me, for the millions of chances you gave, for the love like the symbol of an wide stretch arms, for understanding my fears, never getting angry with my pathetic words/thoughts/deeds. everything done, worth not for me to be negative, but to look at the positive side, how blessed am i.
11:07 pm
Friday, May 29, 2009
sometimes i wish,that there wld be a wall between.
boundaries gives a sense of security.
12:44 am
haven seriously blogged over the past month. shall blog today, to update abt my life recently, also partially for/because of you and lastly, my concerns.
probably shall start with my life bah, though there is nothing exciting actually. my beloved handphone was spoilt 2 weeks ago i think. was pretty upset abt it cuz somehow, guess i falls into the category whereby i over highly regard my phone due to the different ppl and memories left in it. went to the service centre and i read the clause on the info within the phone wld not be guaranteed that it will still be intact after repair. it really got me quite worried then, cuz i am not ready to lose the things within that i hold dearly to. today, my phone is finally repaired and i collected it. happy thing is it can work again, but sadness comes the moment i opened my inbox and my contact list. a huge part of me had disappeared with it, and many things that i hold dearly to, can never be retrieved ever again. but i guess i must still praise God for taking things away in my life, teaching me great and hurtful lessons in life in the most lovely methods ever, teaching me to treasure everything i have.
you give and take away, you give and take away, but my heart will still choose to say, blessed be your name.
my greatest fear and concern that is so real in my life right now: things are getting really uncomfortable right now. things are not within my control i guess, thats human's nature to want to know and be in control. guess God is telling me that i am disobeying Him in my life right now. im so afraid that something will happen, when i really hold very dearly to it. im so afraid that history always repeats itself like a curse. though each and every time it was a different situation and reason, but i just cant seem to prevent it from happening. nobody truely understand my fears and insecurities, but you know the phrase of once bitten, twice shy? i have tasted failure 4 times in my life, i really dun wish for it to happen again in my life. i cant help but to think that im a failure always. i really cant afford to lose it ever again, i probably wun be able to stand up the 5th time. i feel so insecure, does anyone ever feel my insecurities? does anyone knows that im living with a phobia everyday and never gotten out of it? its not that i want to be so negative and emotional abt it, but im really so worried and scared. i dun feel enough assurance and affirmation, i dun need promises that has forever and ever lasting effect, i just need simple promises that are easily kept and fulfilled.i just need honesty and trust. i just need transparency. i just need a little more care and love. i just need to spend quality time with you, even if it means that i wun get to see you, i really dun wish for the you-are-annoying-i-cant-wait-to-end-the-call-now phonecalls. at least thats how i feel and it hurts. i just wished to be given the attention when i feel insecure and not being brushed aside. i really dun have any confidence in myself anymore, cuz the feeling of failure is so real. i really cannot lose you,you know?
10:02 pm
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
8:34 pm
okay, cuz u ask me to blog, so i shall blog. hmm, i love you dear! (:
5:35 pm
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
AWESOME
this piece is AWESOME.
i just saw this verse, and i want to dedicate it to my sis. haha (:
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:” (Proverbs 31:10, 27-28)