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Child of God.
J`
040489
huang_yh@hotmail.com

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YULIANG!! xD
I LOVE YOU!! (:
your the best brother i can ever have!
no one can ever replace you!!
thanks for being there always!
and taking great care of us even though your the youngest in the family!
though at times we quarrel,
though at times we are not on good terms,
but i know that all these brought us closer daily! haha!
deep down in my heart.
i will always love you! haha!
xD -hugs-

i feel so disappointed in myself!
sighs.
im such unworthy and pathetic.
i happen to visit evm's blog today.

she said
Then I talked to Joanne, this girl also always make me smile! Hmm, today I shared with her some of my inner thoughts and she always makes me feel good, feel confident! I feel so good and happy talking to her!

i feel that im such a pathetic friend!
she looks forward to chatting with me.
she was so happy chatting with me.

i was so touched when i read those words.
i almost cried!
those words that i typed actually encouraged her.
it actually touched her, moltivated her.

but yet. i feel so unworthy.
i feel so small.
that i was so reluctant to go online today.
and that i only talk to her when she feels sad.
and that on sunny days, im so indifferent.
i feel so hypocritical.
sighs.
im such a lousy friend.

i feel that
after living in this world for 17 years,
i have changed alot.
haha. wanted to do a 'MY LIFE' post.
showing the changes of me.
quite interesting right? haha.

but too lazy to find and scan photos.
furthermore.. i hardly took any since lyk pri sch till sec sch..
HAHA!
oh wells.. have to digggggggg for them..

anyway other than physical changes..
i think intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, mentally.
whoa! i think i have been through many roller coaster rides.
haha.
i guess, intellectually.
i have grown stupid-er! lol
still remember the days when i got first in K2 kay!
haha.. and in pri sch..
can get lyk 97, 98, 99, 100 for exams!haha.. shall scan my primary sch results to show you all one day! ;)im so proud of them. haha
and lyk always in the top 2 classes..
till i reach sec 1! HAHA!guess i take things for granted too much!
and i drop classes every single year! haha
from 1b, to 2c, to 3e! haha
but well, this was all under God's plan!
im glad that im in 3e! that i got to take the subjects that i love!
and meet great tchers and friends! (:
then moving on to the next chapter of my life again.. in polytechnic.
struggled so hard to made tt choice.
haha. well and guess what! i didn't do well again..
but its alright! (: im sure gonna work hard next sem!
kevin say.. sometimes God bring us back 1 step.. so we can move ahead 5 steps easier! (:
i guess that was lyk the *ting* bell that rang in me. haha

spiritually..
haha. guess what!
im the first who stepped into a church in my family kay! heh..
but comparing growth... errrrrrr.. =x
haha.. but nvm! shan't compare. everyone has a different path to walk. (:
i guess its wonderful growing up in a methodist school.
thank God that my parents send us to fairfield when they weren't christians then!
haha.. i guess its great being in a christian school as you are well-protected and love! (:
i will definitely send my child back to fairfield! HAHA!
strongly recommend! ;p
quite a sad thing.. can't really remember when i accepted christ.
no one told me its impt kay! haha
but nvm! (: well.. my walk with Him wasn't any fabulous wan compared to many..
and i got closer to Him when i was sec 2.. when i started to attend church again after years.
but after tt was.. dull..
but! i really thank God that He stood by me thru my joy and sorrows!
and till a year ago, i heard his calling.
haha. and yup! here i am today! (:
want hear my testimony? haha. next time yea? haha..
so i mus encourage all my dear frens out there!
i know its not a easy walk!
but im sure, we can all help each other out along the way!!
and it is definitely a wonderful walk, making life easier and better compared to one without Him!

emotionally and mentally..
i guess whoa! this a super big changed one too
haha.. link to many other things..
i was once a quiet, shy little gal.
haha! hard to believe to some pple right?!
the doctor tot i was dumb kay!
actually i was jus too shy to talk to the doctor..
hahaha. so crap! >.<
i think when i was young. i cry alot. haha
but now. aiyo. dunno where this perception got into my head.
that cox me to seldom cry. i mean SELDOM! haha.
but quite a sad thing. haha. cox pple call me heartless kay! haha
i guess the last time i cry was lyk. woah!
ages! haha.. when the tree branch almost kill me. haha.
no la. so exaggerating.
haha.. but yup! yuming!! can u believe it!! haha.. since then..
but horh. recently. i think my perception keeps changing..
haha.. thats the reason why i mus tell you now!
haha.. and i think only la.. haven happen yet. so will seee.. haha
oh oh! this is such an impt post yuming!!
i think i change so much! till its so scary! haha
that that. its lyk 2 years ago. or 1.. and im so different now.
haha
and! bet yuming canot believe it too! haha
many perception has changed! thanks to the influence of pple ard me..
oh my! i have to say.. yuming. if u ask me to take photo with you now.. haha
i guess i will jus take. haha. =x
tsk! ohmytian! dun u think its scary!
hahaha
and erm.. yea alot of things la. can't remember.
haha. and i used to reflect alot.. and i kinda lost it..
but now its back again! /:
scary. haha.. bt im quite glad that im reflective. haha
i guess everything has changed.
im jus a changed person.

i used to be a person who tot that family was my all.
haha. and then as i grow older, friends.
and then God.
haha.. and recently, after the saturdays spent in church.
think that i haven really been spending much time with my family.
haha. :( but im so glad! that i went out with my bro and sis on tues!
its lyk we never or hardly even once or twice that we go out together kay!
must spend more time with them man!!
XUELI! spend more time with ur bro yea? i know u dun lyk it.
but one day. lyk me.. u will realise the imptance of family. (:
everyone should cherish their family members more!
We shouldn’t take them for granted. But really to appreciate them!
We are all perfectly planned to be place in one family! xD
I LOVE THEM ALL! (:
haha.. and im so proud of myself that i was to guai cox i swept the floor and change bedsheet!
haha.. mus persevere!! haha..
i guess.. after working on this..
its time to work on my studies and friends!
After losing my close friend in sec 1..
I really learn to cherish all my friends!
Ahh.. im losing touch with so many now! :(
cannot! must find all my wonderful friends back! (:
and study hard and not slacking!!
haha.. im sure i can balance everything, right?!
-smiles and nods-
haha! yay!

when God ran
Almighty God, the great I am
Immovable rock, omnipotent, powerful, awesome Lord
Victorious warrior, commanding King of Kings
Mighty conqueror, and the only time
the only time I ever saw Him run

CHORUS:
Was when He ran to me,
He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said,“Son do you know I still love you?”
He caught me by surprise when God ran

The day I left home I knew I’d broken His heart
And I wondered then if things could ever be the same
Then one night I remembered His love for me
And down that dusty road ahead I could see
It was the only time – it was the only time I ever saw Him run

And then He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said,“Son do you know I still love you?”
He caught me by surprise as He brought me to my knees
When God ran – I saw Him run to me

BRIDGE:
I was so ashamed, all alone and so far away
But now I know He’s been waiting for this day

I saw Him run to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice I felt His love for me again

He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said, “Son”, He called me Son
He said, “Son do you know I still love you?”
He ran to me and then I ran to Him
When God ran

anyway, guess i have too much time to think.
LOL!
i even lyk tot abt whats my last words if I'm gonna die now!
hahaha.. all thanks to my conversation with ser! =p
it kinda trigger my thoughts.
hahaha.. well, i thought abt:

what if i die today? what will i spend my last day doing?
have i been leading a lifesong that really sings about Him?
If i die now, will this impact any lives out there?

haha! anyway. mayb im thinking too much.
but i really dun mind going back home now. =p
HAHA! but i just felt that i haven accomplished my role on earth yet! =x

I guess during the 40 day of purpose campaign..
one line that stuck me hard was really
SAVING ONE MORE FOR JESUS!
haha.. so in my will, i guess im not too creative to think again a inspiring phrase within such short time..
so my last lines will go something lyk..

to all; I LOVE YOU! If you feel my love for you, let me tell you! God loves you much more than I do! to all my fellow brothers/sisters in Christ; save one more for JESUS tonight! and to those who has yet to know Him; the best love you can ever find is Him. May you all find this love that I found.

haha! okies.. guess I have think until go haywire le. LOL! but well! i nv know right! this might useful! (:

hey all! (:
after going thru the many weeks of procrastination,
sickness, uncomforts, hurts, sorrows;
the low points of my life,

haven been slping well lately,
haha! guess i have really been spending time thinking much abt my plans ahead
so now... the high times awaits! xD

i just feel so refreshed today!
i really feel so renew; all ready for the upcoming challenges!
i guess i have really been thinking and reflecting alot the past few nights.
to the extend tt i lack of slp and almost fainted! haha =x
scary scary. lol

my thoughts:
i believe its humans' nature to give/provide for others what we ourselves desire/wishes to receive.
however, often when we place our hope in this secular world,
we always get ourselves hurt without others knowing that they have hurt us.
so, let us not get ourselves so tied down and trapped in this secular world!
happiness is circumstances depended, but joy from the Lord is independent circumstances!
seek what we desire and need in the kingdom of God!
and it will be given unto us. (:
seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

even so;
lets not give up those who has yet to come to know Him personally.
spread the love of God to everyone around us!
shower them with this love that we had received, so that everyone will get to experience this wonderful feeling too!
Ever looked into God's heart? and feel His desire?
Can you hear his heartfelt desire?
To bring back all the lost ones home, back to his presence.
Let's learn to love to stay in His presence! (:
Step out of our comfort zones!
Reach out to those in need.
Take up the challenge!
for I/We are doing God's work; building His kingdom!
We might feel that we are not good enough.
BUT GOD ALWAYS USES ORDINARY PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND I TO DO MIRACULOUS WORK FOR HIM!
Have trust and faith in the Lord!
He will always provide. :)


sighs.
i feel so sick.
not only physically.
but mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

i really need to get well soon!
ahh! i feel so irritated!
faster recover joanne!!
haha!
im seriously breaking down.
everything is just not right.

i am weak but thou art strong!
strengthen me O Lord!



i felt so heartbroken like i never felt before.
its jus a feeling that's too overwhelming.
and its kinda contridicting i guess.

since they might get the chance to see it
i dun wish to b too precise.

got to know from my two dear friends about the gathering.
they asked me along, but i rejected them.
not cause that im not excited to see them, but cause afterall
its not good to be uninvited right?
actually, im not very sad that i wasn't invited.
but instead, sad abt the purpose of their gathering.
and reason that i wasn't invited.
and disappointed in them
afterall, how much memories we all shared tgt.

once again;
the feeling of being rejected and outcasted grew.
i always thought its was of an insignificant amount.
till it slap me so hard in my face.
it felt so overwhelmed that
i couldn't and don't know how to react
but shed a tear in my heart.

i felt so naive.
believing that we could all live in peace and harmony.
believing that everyone would love each other as much.

i just couldn't except the fact of how selfish we man get in the secular world.
it still hurts in my heart thinking abt this.
but im sick and tired.
i dun wish to live such a life anymore.
getting myself involved in such politics.

i admit that they are not to be blame
as in if i were on their side, i guess i would felt the same way too.
i guess its only when we ourselves are being placed in the position ourselves.
we can nv understand.

really hope that they could look from my perspective.
placing themselves into my shoes.
ever felt being abandoned and so lost when u were just so unprepared to accept?
the feeling of hoping that someone would be there to guide u along
but after many empty promises u all made, it nv happen?
and aimlessly, lost my sense of directions, trying hard to find my identity?

after much struggles,
finally! i made it!
i felt accepted and with a sense of belonging.
yet with the many criticism and eyes staring at me.
as if i nv belong, as if i was the betrayer.

it hurts.
really hurts.
cause in my heart, i always love.
cause in my heart, i always belong.

i admit that i really felt so much more appreciated and loved on this side.
i really do.
i believe that everyone wants/wishes to be accepted and loved rather than rejected and outcasted.
so if u were me, i quite certain you would feel the same right?
choosing to b accepted instead of rejected.

however,
nv did i once said that i don't belong.
cause in my heart i know, i always belong.
no matter how much i was rejected.
i proud to say, i belong.
i will never give up, saying that i belong.

but i tried and tried.
it just nv felt the same again.
everything has changed so much.

at least it really got me to realise.
i shldn't live such a worldly life.
i will nv get real joy from this secular world.
but, there's always true joy that i can find in my father. (:
really glad that he's always there.
to feel my emptiness, sorrows, hurts
with his love, peace, joy! xD
praise God!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO XUELI!! xD
haha.. though u wun see it! (:
hope you enjoyed your "well-planned" bday from us!!
hahaa..
really thanks alot to chishan and yuhua for being such great actresses!
haha! and being so niceee and sweeet! haha
xD

haha.
maybe one day u will see it!
and since its XUELI's day,
haha. a small part dedicated to you!
its a secret okay! as in something that you never knew.. (:

ever since the day i got to know that u exist? lol.
i just got this feeling that.. hey! i jus gt to know this gal. haha.
but yep seriously, there is just something that i need to find out.
its jus a feeling haha. and i got the assurance from my bro.
when the day u fell! haha! that he just said that, '' hey! i think the gal who fell down has great potential! HAHA! and can be groom into a great leader!"
it kind of stuck me. haha, and i thank God that cause u fell, LOL! i got to know such a great and wonderful girl like you! haha =p
yea seriously, through the many up and downs, you stood by me.
through the many little actions of yours, that it brought comfort and encouragement!
and instead of me encouraging you, haha! many times the opposite!
you are like one of the very first person that made me felt appreciated. (:
haha. thanks for everything gal, you're simply great!
from the day you made ur decision to accept Christ into your life,
till today! i have really seen you grown. haha
im so proud to have such a great daughter,LOL! and a wonderful friend like you.
yupp, dun give up kay! i know the road ahead is not going to be easy, and will never be easy,
jiayou!! press on!!
no matter its studies or spiritual growth or any trials u faces in life,
i will always be here for you! so will He!
im sure you can do it! dun give up!! xD

HAHA! okies.. its nt a very small part afterall right? =p

When true love is involved, there is bound to be sacrifices.
haha. i'm quite inspired by this line that just suddenly came to my mind! ;D
when i first thought of it.
it reminds me of my Father!
He sent his only son to die on the cross for my sins!
What a great act of sacrifice He had made.
letting his son to die on the cross for us, and we do not have to pay any price.
he done it all.

we should learn to spread this love to everyone around us! (:



i type so longg.
but blogger dun lyk me! haha
nvm, at least i feel more comforted after ranting all out! xD

happy birthday to my sister, Joyce! :D
hope that you enjoyed urself yesterdayy!
and that may your upcoming year ahead be one that will be filled with God-loving experiences with Him! xD
stay nicee and great always! (;
I LOVE YOUU MUCHY! ;P
YOUR THE BEST SIS I CAN EVER HAVE!
THANK GOD THAT HE GAVE ME SUCH A WONDERFUL SIS!
WHO'S ALWAYS THERE FOR ME!
AND LOVE ME SO SO MUCH!
-SMUACKS-



AH HA!
decided to make this my first post
and here it goes..
about me!Here i was! xD
born on the 4thApril'89 into this world!

siying
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